The Long Run

Does this happen to other people?

     So I spent all day psyching myself up for my long run. Today was rainy and thunderstormy and a little chilly (perfect procrastination formula) for the beginning of August. I kept putting it off because I had decided today was going to be "the first 48" marathon watching day. After mentally battling myself all day I finally managed to kick my butt off the couch around 6 pm to go running. I had already complied the podcasts and playlists I wanted to listen to, turned on my Garmin, and prepared to embark on my 14.5 km Sunday long run. And what happens next? Well, nothing actually. My Ipod was dead. Apparently charging overnight for 10 hours isn't enough to breath life into this thing. I'm starting to think it needs nuclear radiation to power it. Like simple electricity from the wall is not enough for this thing (typical Apple arrogance right?). Anyways, HUGE mental block right? I'm all for running, but I also need the mental distraction or else ... I'm left with *gasp* my OWN THOUGHTS !!
 
   This little inconvenience brought me to the second mental battle of the evening. I can't possibly run that long without my Ipod right? I can put this run off another day (Kristin = 1 pt, run = 0 pt). But - I had already put all my running gear on, had actually managed to sync my Garmin to satellites (another battle) and we all know I wasn't going to get up early tomorrow morning ... so today it was (Kristin = 0 pt, run = victory).

   I set off on my run. The first 20-30 mins is the usual mental chatter you experience. Wow - I really accomplished nothing today. My apartment needs a clean. What work can I reasonably manage to get done this week? Did I leave the stove on? Why is it so cold? Will it stop raining soon? Why do 2 people manage to block an entire sidewalk? Then ... for some reason after the 40-45 min mark your mind starts to go into weird places. First weird thing - I was running past a bus stop and out of the corner of my eye I spotted a man standing inside with a hoodie on. My first thought? (For serious) was - He is trying to kill you. You need to run faster. He has a knife, no wait, probably a gun and he is going to run you down, drag you into the park and murder you. He is going to leave your body hidden in the bushes. Obviously you have no ID on you, so when some poor person (probably another runner) finds you nobody will know who you are. You didn't tell anyone your running route so nobody will even know you are gone until (at best) the next morning. You know what this all stems from? A full day of watching "The first 48!". For those of you that don't know it - it is a reality detective show that follows the detectives in the first 48 hours following a murder since if they don't solve it in the first 48 hours their chances of solving it are cut in half. Alright. So after calming myself down and reassuring myself no one was going to kill me I ran past a group of nice young men.

   So they decided to wait until I had run past (they always do ...) and then they shouted something. Not something encouraging like - Run harder! Or, you got this! Or wow, like your top! (Like the old Italian men do) they shouted something like, "huggrragfuuuuuuuuk". This word occupied my run for the next 20 minutes. Was it positive encouragement? Were they attempting to compliment my nice running gear? Maybe they didn't like it. I was told once orange wasn't my colour, maybe I should have listened ! Perhaps they had noticed my socks didn't match the rest of my nicely coordinated outfit. I finally decided I didn't care what their opinion was either way because they don't know me, they don't know who I am, WHY ARE PEOPLE SO JUDGMENTAL ?? !!!

   My last mental distraction tangent was a much more emotional one. Weird how your long run puts you through emotional changes (or maybe I'm just the only one ...). I ran past a park and there were two men in wheelchairs who had obviously lost the use of their legs. This made me instantly appreciative and humble for the fact that I could even decide whether I wanted to run today or not. Just the fact I had the complete use of my legs and it was more my mind that was the hindrance to getting out there - not any sort of physical disability. This happy almost meditative mood followed me to the end of my run when I could finally push the stop button on my handy Garmin. I am still in a post-run happiness/motivated/encouraged mood but I'm sure the instant I have to get out of bed tomorrow to run it will be long gone !!

    Point of today's blog post. Do other runners experience weird mental journeys on their long runs when they run without music? I'm deciding whether I might need to talk to someone or not, or whether tapering down on the First 48 might be enough ....

Blogging for the Niagara Falls Marathon

So I just found out something really cool. The Niagara Falls Marathon is linking individual runner blogs to their website and facebook page! I thought this was a fantastic idea and volunteered my own humble blog to the cause. I look forward to reading about and following the journeys of my fellow runners! I also look forward to other peoples comments and words of encouragement and wisdom.

I thought I would take a step back and introduce myself. My name is Kristin (in case you didn't see the huge blog title ...) and I have become an accidental runner. I used to hate running. I mean REALLY hate it. I signed up for a gym and they told me I would have to run on the treadmill for 15 mins to warm up, so I promptly left and joined another one.
(Don't believe me? Check out my first run as part of my first triathlon - do I look happy to you?)

  All my life I have been a swimmer. I love the water. I love the feeling you get when you dive into it, the feeling you get swimming through it and the feeling you get floating in it after a great workout. I then met two friends - a biker and a runner. This set me down the path of triathlons. I enjoyed triathlons. It turns out, most people can't swim. Or at least, they can't swim well. The first triathlon I did, I was one of the first out of the water. I will admit, this made me a little cocky. This isn't so hard I thought to myself. I'm going to win this thing! Then came the bike. Followed by the run. That sure showed me. I think I finished in the bottom 20%. Although discouraged I thought, if I can just decrease my run time, I would be a lot better. Then, Bam. I started running.  Well ... running is probably a bit to strong. I started jogging ... errr ... walking briskly. At first it was painful. Not physically, mentally. How boring is it to run alone, on a treadmill, facing a wall for an hour? Let me tell you (in case you couldn't guess) - it is really boring. I thought ... this isn't going to last long.
(A much happier me in a bathing suit as opposed to running gear)

   Then something changed. I started running outside (and having music/podcasts didn't hurt). I actually found myself enjoying it! (GASP!). Now. I'm going to be honest. There are days when I HATE running. Like days when the entire time I'm running I'm cursing myself for setting down this stupid path (after all WHO the HECK would want to run 42.2 km voluntarily?) but those days are made up for by the days when you feel like you are literally flying down the sidewalk. This is turning out to be longer than I had planned. I should hurry things along.

   The basics are this. I signed up to run the Niagara Falls Marathon in October, 2013. I have only ran one marathon previously with my only goal being to do it under 5 hours. What was my time you ask? No joke ... it was 5:00.28. Seriously. You know when you get really excited and then all of your happiness and joy comes crashing down in 29 seconds? Ya ... it sucks eh? So ! I decided, it can't be that hard to knock off 29 seconds over 5 hours right? So I am attempting this again. If anyone out there has advice/experiences/funny comments to add, I would be grateful ! Sometimes out there running for hours you need something to ponder over, so if people want to add some of life's unsolvable questions, maybe I can ponder those over as well (Not the usual ones like, why is chili called chili when it's hot? I need more originality here people).

    I hope at least 1 person reads this post and finds it somewhat amusing. That would mean - mission accomplished ! Good luck to everyone out there and I will try to update my blog more then once a year ...

  - Kristin

Niagara Falls - Here I come !!

I really am terrible with keeping on top of blog posts. I apologize.

I have realized that running reappears in my life during times of great unhappiness and uncertainty. It is a way for me to re-focus my life, set a goal, stick to training and hopefully accomplish what I set out to do. I have direct control over it and I get out of it exactly what I put into it. There is a peace that comes with that. When things around me fall apart, I always turn to running to bring me back to life so to speak.

In 2011 I was emotionally devastated. My heart had shattered into a million pieces and I was beyond miserable. Nothing was able to pull me back into my former self and I was scared I would never get back to the level of happiness I had felt before. I decided that now was the best time if any to sign up for a marathon and just do it. That experience was something I will never forget. I trained hard, like really hard, for 5 months and it became the center of my world. I was either eating, sleeping, working, or running. It give me purpose and a sense of drive back into my life. When October approached and I actually ran the full marathon it was one of the most freeing moments of pure happiness that I can't really even begin to describe. Before even starting the marathon I was an emotional mess. In the car, with my family, driving to the start line I had to pull back tears. When the race finally started and I ran past a woman holding a sign, "You are a true inspiration" I completely lost it. It was only kilometer 5 and I was practically sobbing while I was running. Months and months of hardwork had paid off and now I was here, running a marathon, something I have always said I would do, never fully expecting to actually be doing it. Crossing the finish line, or rather, approaching the finishing line is one of those moments in life, that unless you experience it for yourself, can't really be put into words. I would say it is a sense of accomplishment, but it really goes far deeper than that. I had hit rock bottom and I had slowly, with the help of running, clawed myself back to the top. Those 5 months gave me my life back, I was re-born. Running had put things back into prospective and I had found myself again. That was 2011. Oh ya, I also had an amazingly supportive family and friends (including my brother) who liked to remind me I was "only" running a marathon.

This year, 2013, has been amazing to me. I finally published two of my scientific articles, I was moving on in my PhD and had finally applied to medical school, another life goal I had always had but never thought I would seriously get out there and try to do. It was a long process, I had sent my application in for October 1st, 2012 for possible admission for September 2013. I was granted an interview (a great feat in itself!) and went to it in April 2013. The results were released on May 14th, 2013. After months and months of anticipation, sleepless nights, thoughts of where is my life going? I found out I was rejected. Like horribly rejected. I was once again devastated. A life goal that felt soooo close to coming true had once again shattered before my eyes. I lost my sense of purpose and drive again. What would I do now?? I felt lost and unworthy. Once again, I turned to running. I signed up for the Niagara Falls marathon in October 2013. If running was able to give me myself back 2 years ago, will it be able to do it again? Well, 2 weeks into training, time will tell.

Good luck to everyone else out there training for any running event!

Marathon training advice

I read a lot of other people's blogs about marathon training and advice on marathon training and I found it extremely helpful, hopeful, and encouraging.  Since I have basically been doing this on my own I have turned to the internet and people's typed words to give me inspiration and encouragement.  I therefore decided to compile a list of my own tips for new people setting out on the marathon training path.  The following tips are only my opinion and are only based on my own experiences.

1. Pick a program and stick to it. The hardest part is getting out there and just doing it.  Nobody else is going to run those miles for you, it is up to you and only you to kick your ass out there everyday and run.  A great quote for you:  "The miracle isn't that I finished. The miracle is that I had the courage to start."  -John Bingham  
2. Sleep, sleep, sleep. Training isn't all physical - it is also very mental.  It is very easy at the end of a long day to say, I'm too tired.  The more well rested and confident you are the easier it will be to do your runs.  Sleep also does wonders for the aches and pains associated with running.
3. Don't over-train! This might seem obvious, but trust me, its easier to do then you realize.  It took me lying in bed, crying on the phone to my mum at the thought of having to get an oil change for my car to realize I was over doing it just a tad.  Running more and more and more will not make you a better runner.  The body needs rest and you need to allow yourself to have it. 
4.  As much as you think you are an all star runner, you aren't. I started out with huge expectations for myself and when I started to feel tired and sore I was upset and hard on myself.  Why did I expect to push all my weekly runs hard and still have all the energy in the world to run a fast long run on the weekends?  I have only completed a handful of 10K's and one half - I am by no means an accomplished runner.  Be realistic and be kind to yourself.  We can all beat ourselves up over what we haven't accomplished, but try to remember what you ARE accomplishing. 
5. Buy a heart rate monitor! If you are like me and always feel like you have to be sweating buckets and huffing and puffing to have a good workout, you need to start heart rate training.  I feel it is incredibly frustrating to run at a pace I feel is slow.  This however, is crucial for endurance training.  I have a Garmin Forerunner 305 and it is amazing.  It has heart rate alerts (which are horribly loud and annoying) so if you are running too fast you will hear about it immediately and trust me you will WANT to slow down.  As an added bonus the alert scares people out of your way when running on busy sidewalks. 
6. Buy some sort of hydration device. The long runs are long - like 3-4 hours long.  If you are like me and decided to do the bulk of your training in the hot and humid summer you will need to hydrate.  Sure you can plan your route around fountains or stack water bottles around the city like a squirrel but I find having either a camelback (or any other make) or the waist water bottles is much more practical.  When I get into my running groove I like to stay in it, I don't want to stop and wait in a water fountain line while some dog ahead of me is drinking out of it, or digging around in the bush trying to unearth my water bottle.
7. 7. Realize bad days happen, you will doubt yourself and yes, this IS normal.  The worst run of my entire life was a long run of 29 km.  I started out WAYYY too fast and ended up walking the last 8 kms.  This killed my confidence and made me wonder what the hell I was doing. I told myself, phff, I don't even like running anyway!  Therefore quitting now isn't even a big deal because I will just be stopping something I don't enjoy.  Don't let yourself get away with this.  You have a goal, you are amazing, and if you stick to it you WILL finish it! 
8. 8. Keep a running log and update it daily. There are many reasons for this.  1) If you ever experience #7 above, you can look at everything you have done so far and remind yourself how awesome you are.  2) Some running days are better than others.  If you felt good one day and horrible the next, check your log.  Did you eat something off?  Was your sleep shorter than it should have been?  New stresses in your life? 3) It can help you prevent #3 above.  Are your times getting progressively worse and your heart rate is consistently elevated?  Sometimes you just need some extra days off to keep yourself in tip top shape.

I hope this can offer some help to anyone out there starting on the incredible journey that is marathon training.   Just remember this - you are not alone, you are awesome, and you CAN DO IT!

Marathon training ramblings

After going through my blog I realized I haven't posted a single entry since after running the half-marathon almost 1 year ago.  So many things have changed!  After much thought and consideration I decided it was time to run the marathon.  I struggled with whether I was ready or not but decided why wait?  Life is much too short and putting off something just because you are scared or uncertain is not the way to go!  I came across this from a blog post and it summarized exactly what I was thinking:
   
   "If you’re thinking about doing it, stop.  Plenty of people think. They have dreams and ambitions and goals, and they’re beautiful… but you need to become a person who stops thinking and starts doing."  (From: http://www.nomeatathlete.com/couch-to-ironman/ an excellent read).

   I signed up for the marathon in Toronto back in February.  It is October 16, 2011.
   (This one: http://www.torontowaterfrontmarathon.com/en/index.htm)

   I started training June 20th and decided to follow an 18 week training plan found here:
http://www.marathontraining.com/marathon/metric2.html

    I thought initially the training program wasn't so bad.  The program suggested to have a solid base before starting but I thought since I had been triathlon training all winter I would be good to go.  The program went well right up until week 8 and 9.  Up until this point I had been progressing nicely and I had just finished my last long run (26km) at a reasonable pace of 6:36 min/km.  Then it hit.  I missed my long mid-week run because of soreness and overall tiredness.  Then the next long run came - 29 km.  It was awful.  I hit the wall around 23 km and couldn't run anymore.  I had tears in my eyes but no energy to cry.  I experienced the most intense feeling of thirst I have ever had.  I thought I could make it through 29 km without fluids.  Boy was I wrong.  I saw a discarded gatorade bottle on the side of the road and it took all my self-restraint from reaching down and drinking the remaining few millilitres.  I managed to do a combination of walking/running (mostly walking) and finished the 29 km in 3h32m.  The following week was a well deserved rest week and I thought I had finally put myself back together.  Boy was I wrong.  I set out for my long Sunday morning run of 32 km.  This is probably the worst run I have ever experienced in my life.  The wonderful weather network had predicted cloud and rain with a high of 24C.  I thought perfect, if my run goes a little longer the heat won't kill me.  Wrong again.  The day turned out to be HOT, HUMID, and SUNNY.  At least for this run I had learned from my previous mistakes and had bought a camelback from MEC so I could continuously drink on my run.  This worked for the first 20 km and then it happened again, it was like my energy was completely knocked out of me.  I couldn't run more than 5 mins without having to stop and walk for a good 10 mins.  My amazing pace I had maintained up to here dropped like a lead weight.  I walked/ran the remaining 12 km home.  I ended up finishing this "run" in 4h20m, my pace was 8:06 min/km.  If I wasn't so exhausted I would have been horribly upset.  I got home, showered and slept the day away.

   The following week I only managed to run 10 km.  I was exhausted.  I woke up Saturday morning (almost one week after the 32 km run) and I wanted to cry.  I didn't want to leave my bed all day, just lifting my feet out of bed felt like the end of the world.  My mum called to talk to me and I started crying uncontrollably.  This was not right - I was overtraining.  It had gotten to a point where I didn't want to eat, or sleep, and I sure as hell did not want to run, I just wanted to sit in my bed and stare at the ceiling.  Then slowly I came out of it.  I rested and ran as slow as humanly possible.  Then it was time for my next 32 km run.  I was beyond scared, the last experience had scarred me.  Would I be able to finish it? What was the point? It was a Sunday morning of a long weekend, why did I have to get up at the crack of dawn to run 4 hours when all it did was make me miserable?  It was cold and it was wet.  Why the hell was I doing this again??  Self-doubt set in and I felt frustrated with myself for feeling this way, scared I might not meet my goal, and upset that obviously I wasn't doing something right.  I felt this challenge was impossible.  Not for other people, just for me.  I had bitten off more than I could chew and it was finally catching up to me.  However that blog I had read previously had this to say:

   " I hate the word “impossible.” Hate it, hate it, hate it.

Anyone who does an Ironman needs to learn to hate that word, too. You’ll hear it a lot during your training, and it’ll sneak into your thoughts now and then, after a bad run or when you panic during your first open-water swim start."

   And somehow I throw myself out of bed that morning, geared up, mixed up my gatorade and headed out the door into the pouring rain at 6:30 am on a holiday Sunday.  I had to run on the shoulder of a dirt road and it got to the point where the sand shoulder was like quicksand.  Then it really started pouring.  I said to myself, this is it. I am stopping.  This isn't worth it.  Then something happened.  A little tiny voice inside my head said - just one more step.  Put one foot in front of the other and just DO IT.  And that's what I did.  I told myself - OK.  If it is still this bad in 30 mins then I will stop.  After 30 mins I said OK, in the next 20 mins if its this bad I will stop etc ... and this went on until my wonderful brother joined me.  Together we finished the run and with better pacing and a better mental attitude I was able to finish this run in 4h07m.  Certainly not a fast run by anybody's standards but faster than before and I had finished without feeling absolute exhaustion.  This, although a small step, was amazing progress for me.  And so it continues.  I have one more long run (this Sunday) before the mileage drops drastically into taper mode before the marathon.  I am still nervous about these long distances because your mind is amazing at playing tricks on you and telling your body it can't do it.  I saw this quote awhile back and I think it's perfect:

    "The mind tells the body it can't, but the body doesn't have to listen"

With just over 3 weeks to go until the big day I have conflicting thoughts.  I know the marathon race day itself is only one day and is a product of the last 18 weeks of hardcore running but I still have worries.  Will I even finish?  Will I hit the dreaded wall?  How will I feel after?  Have I prepared myself adequately? Should I have run more years before attempting the huge challenge that is the marathon?  However, the only way to know the answers to these questions is to just get out there and do it!

Toronto Goodlife Half-Marathon!

Wow, I did it!!! I successfully ran 21.1 km!!! During the run I remember thinking back to the summer of 2008 when I joined a gym and refused to run on the treadmills because I hated running. When I was forced to run I went for about 10 mins before wanting to cry. What a long way I have come! Over the next two years I have successfully increased my endurance levels to my middle goal of 21.1 km. Whats next? The full marathon baby.

I won't lie - the half-marathon was tough. Previous to this run the longest I had run at one time was 16 km. I was unsure on race day how the race would go. I ran the first 10 km very comfortably and was looking forward to the next 10 km. This was fine until I hit the 16 km mark. This is when I started to lose steam and when I really slowed down. By 18km it was almost agony. Why weren't my legs moving faster when I told them too?? My legs felt like steel drums that took all my concentration and energy to move up and down. At 20 km I didn't care whether I finished or not anymore, I just wanted to stop running. I saw someone with a sign saying, "Chuck Norris never ran marathons" this made me smile and gave me the last little bit of energy I could muster to finish the 1.1 km. When I crossed the finish line I wanted to cry, sleep, and sit down. I tried walking and stumbled. I felt drunk. After running for 2 hours and 2 mins it felt weird to suddenly not be moving. However, I was hooked. My next goal is to run the half - marathon faster with the ultimate goal of finishing a marathon. The winter will provide me training time and next spring I will come out ready to go!

Results: http://www.sportstats.ca/display-results.php?racecode=47247&first=KRISTIN&last=DAWSON&city=MONTREAL

The summer season is coming to an end so I thought it would be a good time to reflect on the goals I have achieved this year. The 3 most important goals I achieved to me are:

1) Finishing an Olympic distance triathlon (Ottawa June, 2010 time: 3:06.47)

2) Raising enough money to do the Ride to Conquer Cancer (and finishing it!)

3) Finishing a half-marathon (Toronto Oct, 2010 time: 2:02.37)

I am conflicted on what I should work on next season. The choice is to maintain the current distance and improve speed, OR, increase distance with the goal of just finishing. I will be honest, both the Olympic distance tri and the half-marathon took a lot out of me. If I want to increase distance events I will need to step up training time (a lot). Increasing distance is attractive to me because it is always a constant struggle between body and mind. Can I finish this? Am I willing to push through?? Repeating something you have already accomplished is a little less motivating, but being faster and stronger always makes one feel better. I will put some thought into this and decide over our long, dark, cold winter.

Bye for now!

Central/Eastern Europe Trip!

Even though the Ride to Conquer Cancer is officially over, I still very much enjoy blogging so I have decided to make this a general blog about my life. The first life entry will be about the central/eastern Europe trip my brother and I took for 2 weeks in August. Our trip was ambitious - 5 countries, 14 days, 5 languages, and an attempt to couch surf most of it. Here is our tale:

Day 1 and 2:We arrived at Pearson International Airport in Toronto on Thursday August 12th ready to fly out. After picking up 4 currencies at the Bureau de Change, having a snack with the parents, having our boarding delayed by 3o mins, we were ready to go. We were flying Luftansa to Frankfurt then after a brief stop we would be heading to Prague, Czech Republic the first country of our trip.

We finally reached our hotel at 13h00 local time Friday August 13th. My brother and I attempted to beat the jet lag (since we hadn't really slept in 24 hrs) so we wandered around to sight see and find food. We had a great dinner consisting of meat and potatoes (something that would be very common during our trip) and then passed out around 20h30.

Day 3:

The next morning we awoke quite late and almost missed our Continental breakfast! After eating and showering and heading out we decided to view Charles Bridge as our starting point. Unfortunately there were tourists EVERYWHERE and everything was PACKED. People were trying to sell you things everywhere you looked and there were about 10 tourists groups ahead of us all speaking different languages. We managed to squeeze through Charles Bridge and

headed up to view the Castle.

We saw a nice overview of the city, then went off in search of the bus terminal to buy our tickets for our next stop - Vienna, Austria.

Beer was amazingly cheap and delicious so that is pretty much all we drank, I have absolutely no complaints about this!