I have realized that running reappears in my life during times of great unhappiness and uncertainty. It is a way for me to re-focus my life, set a goal, stick to training and hopefully accomplish what I set out to do. I have direct control over it and I get out of it exactly what I put into it. There is a peace that comes with that. When things around me fall apart, I always turn to running to bring me back to life so to speak.
In 2011 I was emotionally devastated. My heart had shattered into a million pieces and I was beyond miserable. Nothing was able to pull me back into my former self and I was scared I would never get back to the level of happiness I had felt before. I decided that now was the best time if any to sign up for a marathon and just do it. That experience was something I will never forget. I trained hard, like really hard, for 5 months and it became the center of my world. I was either eating, sleeping, working, or running. It give me purpose and a sense of drive back into my life. When October approached and I actually ran the full marathon it was one of the most freeing moments of pure happiness that I can't really even begin to describe. Before even starting the marathon I was an emotional mess. In the car, with my family, driving to the start line I had to pull back tears. When the race finally started and I ran past a woman holding a sign, "You are a true inspiration" I completely lost it. It was only kilometer 5 and I was practically sobbing while I was running. Months and months of hardwork had paid off and now I was here, running a marathon, something I have always said I would do, never fully expecting to actually be doing it. Crossing the finish line, or rather, approaching the finishing line is one of those moments in life, that unless you experience it for yourself, can't really be put into words. I would say it is a sense of accomplishment, but it really goes far deeper than that. I had hit rock bottom and I had slowly, with the help of running, clawed myself back to the top. Those 5 months gave me my life back, I was re-born. Running had put things back into prospective and I had found myself again. That was 2011. Oh ya, I also had an amazingly supportive family and friends (including my brother) who liked to remind me I was "only" running a marathon.
This year, 2013, has been amazing to me. I finally published two of my scientific articles, I was moving on in my PhD and had finally applied to medical school, another life goal I had always had but never thought I would seriously get out there and try to do. It was a long process, I had sent my application in for October 1st, 2012 for possible admission for September 2013. I was granted an interview (a great feat in itself!) and went to it in April 2013. The results were released on May 14th, 2013. After months and months of anticipation, sleepless nights, thoughts of where is my life going? I found out I was rejected. Like horribly rejected. I was once again devastated. A life goal that felt soooo close to coming true had once again shattered before my eyes. I lost my sense of purpose and drive again. What would I do now?? I felt lost and unworthy. Once again, I turned to running. I signed up for the Niagara Falls marathon in October 2013. If running was able to give me myself back 2 years ago, will it be able to do it again? Well, 2 weeks into training, time will tell.
Good luck to everyone else out there training for any running event!
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