Does this happen to other people?
So I spent all day psyching myself up for my long run. Today was rainy and thunderstormy and a little chilly (perfect procrastination formula) for the beginning of August. I kept putting it off because I had decided today was going to be "the first 48" marathon watching day. After mentally battling myself all day I finally managed to kick my butt off the couch around 6 pm to go running. I had already complied the podcasts and playlists I wanted to listen to, turned on my Garmin, and prepared to embark on my 14.5 km Sunday long run. And what happens next? Well, nothing actually. My Ipod was dead. Apparently charging overnight for 10 hours isn't enough to breath life into this thing. I'm starting to think it needs nuclear radiation to power it. Like simple electricity from the wall is not enough for this thing (typical Apple arrogance right?). Anyways, HUGE mental block right? I'm all for running, but I also need the mental distraction or else ... I'm left with *gasp* my OWN THOUGHTS !!
This little inconvenience brought me to the second mental battle of the evening. I can't possibly run that long without my Ipod right? I can put this run off another day (Kristin = 1 pt, run = 0 pt). But - I had already put all my running gear on, had actually managed to sync my Garmin to satellites (another battle) and we all know I wasn't going to get up early tomorrow morning ... so today it was (Kristin = 0 pt, run = victory).
I set off on my run. The first 20-30 mins is the usual mental chatter you experience. Wow - I really accomplished nothing today. My apartment needs a clean. What work can I reasonably manage to get done this week? Did I leave the stove on? Why is it so cold? Will it stop raining soon? Why do 2 people manage to block an entire sidewalk? Then ... for some reason after the 40-45 min mark your mind starts to go into weird places. First weird thing - I was running past a bus stop and out of the corner of my eye I spotted a man standing inside with a hoodie on. My first thought? (For serious) was - He is trying to kill you. You need to run faster. He has a knife, no wait, probably a gun and he is going to run you down, drag you into the park and murder you. He is going to leave your body hidden in the bushes. Obviously you have no ID on you, so when some poor person (probably another runner) finds you nobody will know who you are. You didn't tell anyone your running route so nobody will even know you are gone until (at best) the next morning. You know what this all stems from? A full day of watching "The first 48!". For those of you that don't know it - it is a reality detective show that follows the detectives in the first 48 hours following a murder since if they don't solve it in the first 48 hours their chances of solving it are cut in half. Alright. So after calming myself down and reassuring myself no one was going to kill me I ran past a group of nice young men.
So they decided to wait until I had run past (they always do ...) and then they shouted something. Not something encouraging like - Run harder! Or, you got this! Or wow, like your top! (Like the old Italian men do) they shouted something like, "huggrragfuuuuuuuuk". This word occupied my run for the next 20 minutes. Was it positive encouragement? Were they attempting to compliment my nice running gear? Maybe they didn't like it. I was told once orange wasn't my colour, maybe I should have listened ! Perhaps they had noticed my socks didn't match the rest of my nicely coordinated outfit. I finally decided I didn't care what their opinion was either way because they don't know me, they don't know who I am, WHY ARE PEOPLE SO JUDGMENTAL ?? !!!
My last mental distraction tangent was a much more emotional one. Weird how your long run puts you through emotional changes (or maybe I'm just the only one ...). I ran past a park and there were two men in wheelchairs who had obviously lost the use of their legs. This made me instantly appreciative and humble for the fact that I could even decide whether I wanted to run today or not. Just the fact I had the complete use of my legs and it was more my mind that was the hindrance to getting out there - not any sort of physical disability. This happy almost meditative mood followed me to the end of my run when I could finally push the stop button on my handy Garmin. I am still in a post-run happiness/motivated/encouraged mood but I'm sure the instant I have to get out of bed tomorrow to run it will be long gone !!
Point of today's blog post. Do other runners experience weird mental journeys on their long runs when they run without music? I'm deciding whether I might need to talk to someone or not, or whether tapering down on the First 48 might be enough ....
